Trauma Healing | Developmental and Relational Trauma | Somatic Therapy
Nothing dramatic happened, but you never felt safe enough to be fully yourself. The protective patterns you built still live in your body.
Developmental and attachment trauma
Developmental trauma, also called attachment trauma or childhood relational trauma, describes the effects of growing up without enough safety, attunement or care. It often shows up in adulthood as anxiety, pain, difficulty with closeness or a sense of not being at home in your own body.
The quiet kind of trauma
Not all trauma is a single event. It can be what was missing: being seen, being soothed, being allowed to need things. Growing up in a home where feelings were unwelcome or unpredictable shapes the nervous system for years afterwards.
Working with it
This is slow, respectful work. The relationship between us is part of the work, because attachment is learned in relationship and can be updated in relationship. Alongside conversation, we pay attention to the body, where those early patterns are still held.
Why the body matters here
Early patterns may be formed before we have words for them.
They may be when we are forming early attachment to our caregivers. Perhaps parents themselves are struggling with their own mental health, repeating patterns of their own childhood trauma or upbringing. If parents were struggling with alcohol, drugs, their own relationship, anger, abuse or even divorce.
These things shape us and affect our physical being as well as our mind.They are held in posture, breath, muscle tone and the way the nervous system responds to other people.
That is why working with the body, as well as the story, can reach places that talking sometimes cannot.
Defence patterns, armouring and relationships
Defence patterns, sometimes called armouring, are habitual ways of holding the body and responding to people that began as protection, often in childhood.
As children we find ways to survive what we cannot change: going quiet, bracing, people pleasing, pulling away, staying alert. Dissociation. is an incredible survival strategy we all utilise from time to time – in trauma it can become present on a frequent basis and with problematic effect. Zoning out, disconnection, shrinking ourselves, staying small. These are intelligent. They worked.
Held for years, a protective pattern can become part of posture and muscle tone. In body psychotherapy we would call this armouring. It can look like a braced chest, a held breath, a locked jaw, tight shoulders, a guarded belly. The body keeps doing the job it was given long after the danger has passed. The body keeps the score.
Constant holding costs energy and restricts movement. Over time it can contribute to aches, stiffness, fatigue and a feeling of being cut off from yourself and others. It can also limit how close we let people come.
Relationships often reveal our early developmental trauma and attachment wounds. In fact – through overcoupling or what we term as transference, we almost always find we meet each others trauma in our lifelong relationships.
We do not try to break the armour. We get to know it, with respect, and help the body discover it has other choices. This often means slow work with breath, awareness, movement and, when you choose it, touch.
Working together
We go slowly. The relationship between us is part of the work, because attachment patterns update in relationship. I may use touch-based approaches such as NeuroAffective Touch, only if you choose it.
How it shows
- Always being the one who copes, or the one who pleases
- Fear of being left, or fear of being too close
- Chronic tension, bracing or shallow breathing
- Pain and fatigue that seem to come from nowhere
- A sense that something is wrong with you
Signs you may recognise
- You cannot point to one terrible event, but you never felt safe
- You feel responsible for other people’s moods
- You find it hard to rest, or to ask for what you need
- You swing between wanting closeness and needing distance
- You are told you “should be over it”
Common defence patterns
- Bracing: a held chest, tight shoulders, a clenched jaw
- Withdrawing: going quiet, flat or far away
- Pleasing: reading the room and putting others first
- Controlling: needing things to go a certain way
- Fighting: quick anger, a ready defence
Frequently Asked Questions
What is developmental trauma?
It is the impact of ongoing early experiences, such as neglect, unpredictability or emotional unsafety, on the developing nervous system and sense of self.
What is the difference between developmental trauma and CPTSD?
They overlap. CPTSD is a diagnostic term. Developmental trauma describes the cause: early, ongoing experiences that shaped the developing nervous system. Many people with developmental trauma never receive a formal diagnosis and still struggle. CPTSD may come from repeated exposure to stressors and traumatising environments in later life and this is a reason CPTSD may cover more than developmental trauma.
Is attachment trauma different from ordinary family problems?
It is a matter of degree and effect. If the patterns still shape your body, health or relationships, it is worth exploring, whatever name it goes by.
Can developmental trauma cause physical pain?
It can be one of the factors in long-standing tension and pain for some people, alongside many others. I begin with a careful assessment of the whole picture.
What is body armouring?
It is the idea that long-held emotional protection becomes part of how the body is held, in posture, breath and muscle tone.
Can armouring cause pain?
Chronic holding can contribute to stiffness, aches and fatigue for some people. I assess the whole picture first.
How do you work with defence patterns?
Respectfully and slowly. We do not try to break them down. We help the body find it has other options.
A space for your healing journey
Whilst I recognise that your system may not “feel” safe – I recognise that and work with it in the session and, over time, create a space in which you can feel an ever increasing sense of internalised safety.
Rodger Duckworth sees clients at The Grange Health in Wokingham, Berkshire, and works with people from Wokingham, Reading, Bracknell, Crowthorne, Finchampstead, Winnersh, Binfield, Swallowfield, Hurst, Twyford, Henley-on-Thames, Sonning and the surrounding area.
Sessions are available in person or online.
The Grange | 15 Rectory Road | Wokingham | RG40 1DJ | 0118 978 6149
Whenever you are ready
A first message does not commit you to anything. Reception will help you find the right time.